The goat has a few attitudes on life.

Raising Kids - Advice from the Goat

Kid: A young goat.  Informal: To mock playfully, to tease,
to deceive in fun, to fool.  
Slang: A child, a young person.
3 key points to raising kids.
  1. You know absolutely nothing about Raising Kids.
  2. We also know nothing about raising kids either.
  3. Nobody else knows nothing about raising kids.
So how are all of these kids getting raised?

The answer: Nobody Knows!
Well, you should of guessed that we would have a few
thoughts, or shall we say observations on Raising Kids.
1) Raise Noise Tolerant Kids.
Some people we know insist that there be no noise around their kids for fear
that it will wake them when they sleep. The problem is that these kids don't
learn to sleep through noise, and will wake up to even the smallest sound.
Don't worry about noise, and the kids will learn to sleep through it.

2) Don't Worry If They Won't Eat.
Sometimes kids won't eat. Don't worry about it. If they are hungry, they will eat.
They will eat what they want. They will eat when they want. And they will eat
however much they want. Missing a meal here and there will not hurt them. Pay
attention to what they eat over the course of several days, not 1 meal at a
time. And stock the fridge with food, not junk.

3) Offer Food - Don't Force Food.
If you try to make kids eat something new, it will probably backfire on you. Set
the food on the table, take some yourself, and look like you are enjoying it.
This shouldn't be hard because it wouldn't be on your table if you don't enjoy
it, would it. (or are you just nuts) If you are enjoying the food, they will get
curious and try some.

Kids will eat anything if it is introduced this way including, Mexican, Chinese,
Greek, Italian, and just about anything else you care to offer them. And if they
try it and don't like it, don't worry. You don't like everything either.

4) Dirt Will Not Kill Your Kid.
Kids will play in dirt. Kids will eat dirt. All kids have done it, including you. You
are still with us, so it must not of killed you. A little bit of good, clean dirt never
hurt anybody.

5) Don't Buy Happy Meal Toys.
It sounds like a good enough idea at the time. A cute little toy with a meal at
your favorite fast food restaurant. Beware, these toys will add up exponentially
and take over your house. You will be tripping over them at all hours, and the
kids will start to look at them as entitlement's. You go out to eat, and they
expect to get a toy. Eventually, it will be No Toy - No Joy. Just screaming kids.

6) Silence Is Scary.
Normally, your kids will be very noisy. You will hear them wherever they are,
whatever they are doing. Then there will come a time when all you hear is
silence.

Be Afraid - Be Very Afraid. Something is wrong.

Get up and go find out what they are up to. Either someone is hurt, or they are
about to microwave the cat!
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kid standing on a log
A kid standing on a log.
Don't throw the baby out
with the bath water.
It the past it was a tradition in rural
America for the members of the
family to all take baths on Saturday
night. This was so they would be
nice and clean for church on
Sunday.

In those days there was no running
water in the house. You would have
to fetch your water from the nearest
pond or stream. Then it would be
heated on the wood stove and
finally poured into the wash tub.
Since this was a lot of work,
everybody used the same water.

The tradition was that the man of
the house got the first bath. Then
they would work their way down
through the ranks to the youngest.
The baby was last.

Do you now have a mental image of
babies with layers of bath residue,
permanently encrusted on their
bodies?
We do!

Well, that is all we have to say about that.
We wish you the best of luck in raising your kids.
We do have some closing thoughts.
1 KID:
If you have 1 kid, it is understandable. You didn't really know what you were
getting into. How could you. You never had a kid before.

2 KIDS:
It does make some since to have a second kid. They will entertain each other
(think - beat the crap out of) and give you some time to yourself (think - you
won't have to play candy land).

3 KIDS:
If you have a third kid, it might of been an accident.

MORE THAN 3:
Any more then 3 kids, and you just can't be thinking right. Perhaps you don't
know what is causing this phenomenon!
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